Thursday, September 1, 2011

We Miss Your Smile

It has been a long week since the ear tube surgery.  We have waited anxiously for the movement in the right side of Dallas's face to return and there has been no improvement.  I left a message for the surgeon yesterday and we heard back this morning that it could take anywhere from 4-6 weeks, or even 4-6 months for his nerve to recover.  While this is very disheartening, at least our expectations can be more realistic and hopefully I can stop analyzing his every facial movement wondering if there was a slight improvement here or there.  For me, this has been very difficult to deal with.  One of my prenatal doctors gave me some advice when I was pregnant, which I didn't much appreciate at the time, but I know exactly what he meant by it now.  He told me that there was a bright side to having a child born with a disability; you can grow with their disability and start out from Day 1 knowing and loving your child as they are with their disability, versus having a typical child for years and then one day in their life having something tragic happen and then your child winds up different after knowing them a certain way for so long. While I know Dallas wasn't injured tragically, his smile was his signature. Without it, he is different to us.  The story mearly helps me understand why this has been so hard on me versus anything else. We got such a kick out of that boys grin and it made us smile every time.

Dallas is otherwise improving as it relates to his appetite and overall disposition.  He seems happier, although just not quite back to himself.  He is starting to eat and drink much better comparing to a week ago.  For now, it will be back to focusing on his strength, his eating/drinking/chewing skills,  and soon his hearing and speech. 

There will not be a morning that passes where I won't hope to walk into his room and see his big smile again, I can wait....just not forever. :)

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