It’s interesting in life how things can change on a dime. Since feeling “heard” last night, I now feel right back where we started. All the docs that were here on the night shift went home and I think Dallas’s pediatrician got word of the events and just said we are not doing a port right now. The vibe today from surgery too is that they just want to get him over this and get him home. Me, and Dallas, want to go home more than anyone, but I don’t want to be back here in a month, at 2am, with a sick child that needs an IV. The issue goes beyond a potential need for immune system treatments. The issue is that you cannot get and IV into the kid, therefore you cannot draw labs either. I refuse to imagine another round of people trying to get and IV going on Dallas.

I am exhausted from fighting. I feel like I fight and fight and fight, and today I absolutely feel defeated. We will be going home and this will inevitably resurface time and time again. I wish there was some way to get the point across; I just can’t seem to do it. Or maybe there needs to be someone to give me a good enough explanation as to WHY we cannot do a port. The reasons I have heard are lazy and from people too busy to think about it.

Dallas tolerated the Pedialyte overnight in his feeding tube. He has been getting whole milk through the tube for the past 2 hours, so he has had just over an ounce and seems to be doing ok with it. If he continues to tolerate the milk, the plan is to get him home sometime tomorrow.

Tonight, Scott and I will take Dakota trick-or-treating, while Nana stays at the hospital to watch over Dallas. I will come back up after the fun and stay the night with him.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! I dressed up the kids together last week to get some pictures!